A. I can not believe how much I accomplished tonight.
B. Help yourself to the blubes in the fridge. They are on their way out.
C. I am extremely excited to celebrate making it through the vicious stink-eye of a major storm.
D. Typing on this phone is not easy.
E. Stuff smells like Easter Eggs.
F. Pretty much thrilled.
G. Grover. G. George.

The Lady and the Nissan Acura

In the pouring rain this lady tried, coffee in hand, to get into her Nissan Acura.*
She kept clicking the button on her key, lights were flashing and the beep was loud.**  She fought for more time that people should with a door that didn't care. The man at the the table across but facing mine watched, unflinching. He seemed to lack the level of amusement I displayed, basically allowing my eyes to dart around the joint, praying that someone would notice and commiserate with me. We were dry and watching as her identical Nissan Acura whooped and glowed in the next spot over. Finally she realize what the man and I already knew and flung her arms and drink up into the falling rain.
The lady got into the Nissan Acura,  HER Nissan Acura and peeled out like nobody's business.
I wanted the stoic man to look at me.We shared this weird experience and he didn't even act like anything at all.

A few minutes passed. That man got up and walked out to his Nissan Acura, the one the lady wanted to get into.


Really, my jealousy is overwhelming. She should have attempted to get into MY car. She should have thrown her arms and coffee while I looked on, very no-big-deal like.

My new goal is hiding somewhere in these words.




* I realize technically there is no car called a Nissan Acura. Don't try to call me out on it. It's something I will continue to believe until I die of natural causes at an old age.

** I don't have a click-key button. I am both practical and cheap. I realize when my locks inevitably break, I will have neither the confidence nor the electronic know-how to comfortably play with wires. Instead, I will display vast volumes of chutzpah as I dismantle the doors in an effort to recreate levers and latches.

you are invited!

 

this is what i'll be doing tomorrow night.

and you are invited.

I have lost every phone number I ever had, in case you never hear from me again. (This might be a nice time to send a text of your name, or hello or something, if you want.)

and and and

all the fingers are crossed. the rabbits: de-feeted. candles be lit. prayers said. vibes netted. positive energies magnet'ed. hopes high. wishes made. spirits up. eyeses on prizes. wishes as fishes. et cetera, et cetera, et cetera. and and and. + + +. & & &. may we all have the kind of day we deserve. and may the day i deserve be so so good. and forever and ever amen. and and and. please and thank you. updates are forthcoming. oxoxen.

I wish I could remember some really great quote about taking care of yourself first. Maybe one of my improv peoples told me? Or maybe it was someone's mom? In any event, I just stood up for myself like WHOA while a stranger attempted to berate me and ruin my day. You chose the wrong person to pick on buddy. I lived through JUNIOR HIGH and came out a  vehement optimist.

Get Out The Sharpies

Diagram Time!! 

As a favor to the-guy-I-was-seeing-at-the-time's ex, I agreed to film a "Dating On Demand" profile. I guess she worked on the show in some capacity and they were still friends. He asked me and things must not have seemed so promising with him or something so I said yes. 

It was five or six years ago, so hopefully I'm getting the details right. Maybe the girls who were applying for this project were all aspiring actresses or didn't have quite the personality they needed. After filming the initial profile, somehow I end up getting called back to do an entire episode for a television show. They had us filming in "my" apartment. Notice "my" lovely collection of Barbie dolls, their leggy stems dangling, interfering with various camera angles. I haven't watched this in years, but I'm pretty sure the is a Halloween decoration/cat thing on the couch. The host complimented me on it and I offered it to her. She accepted and may or may not have walked off the shoot with a stranger's cat statue. I don't know that that made the episode. I do know they cut out my piano playing. I was supposed to be home alone, waiting for her to show up. In order to make it seem authentic I played Kum Ba Ya on the keyboard and sang very VERY seriously. I also tried to cook pasta for her.
It's almost done uploading. You get to see my first attempts at improv!! (Cringecringecringe!)

@11ysses

I'm taking section 52 in a collaborative project for Bloomsday!

We'll be rewriting James Joyce's Ulysses in a series of tweets. Each participant takes 8-10 pages and extracts from them the things they find most valuable or intriguing, turning the text into 4-6 tweets.



I've had a crush on that Stephen Dedlaus guy for some time now, by the way.

polar bear table!!

http://philadelphia.craigslist.og/fuo/2373288820.html

NOT LATE YET

"...age of marriage for those of Turkish descent averages 21 for women and 24 for men,while for those of traditional German ancestry, the ages are 29 and 32." Kathleen Stassen Berger, The Developing Person: Through the Life Span page 449

Sure, I didn't bother to properly cite my source, but my last name is Schmidt and the above quote aids in my feeling a great deal more comfortable with my lot in life. For your consideration-I've been very antsy about a good deal of things including but not limited to: my younger sister's upcoming wedding and my inability to start at Drexel this fall. (I've got to finish five studio art classes and can't possibly get it all done by September while remaining at my present full time job. That's right: I'm entirely crushed but still alive, just barely.)


At least now I have found solace in my rank as spinster for the next four months as a twenty-nine year old.








Also, me: married? That sounds sort of like a punchline.

I guess it has been longer than I'd like to admit since I last worked in bed, or on my bed. In any event, I'd forgotten how easy it is to have a pen's ink leak out all over clean white sheets. Really though, as much as I loved the plain pale plane, there is something undeniably appealing about ink stained splotches. The black wicked blots give this bed character somehow suiting of a disheveled girl.

current obsession

bottle house



LOOK AT HOW GOOD THIS SOUNDS
AND
SEE HOW NICELY THE LIGHT SHINES IN.



also, i love this guy + his home.