After work I went to several stores looking for various birthday, baby, shower and wedding gifts for all of the happy, lucky people in my life. After two hours of waltzing around in public I met my mom who looked at me with an eyebrow raised. "What is that?" she asked nervously.
I turned red and looked down expecting to find a sticker or cheerios stuck to my boobs. Nothing there. I swung my head around, thinking maybe she saw something when I'd turned at some point. My back was clean too.
I looked at her, my brow matching the shape of hers.
"I have no idea." I sad vaguely, waiting for her to get specific.
It turns out she didn't like my dress.
She couldn't believe I not only bought it, but wore it. Wore it to work. Wore it to go out.
I found it pretty surprising considering it's been in the occasional-rotation. It's far from my favorite piece, but it's really comfortable and it wasn't cheap.
About twenty minutes ago I was standing in the kitchen hanging out with my little sisters. (They're 27 and 23, I talk about them like they're both eight.) Kathy looked at me and, in the middle of discussing the amazing pretzels we just finished baking says, "You're really good at making weird and delicious food out of nowhere but what are you wearing?" My jaw sort of dropped. I looked to Susie, the 23 year old with impeccable style for some support.
"Yeah." she agreed. "It's dumpy. Maybe it's too long. And the waist is low. It's just bad." They felt the same way my mother had. I looked at her, waiting for more. "You didn't go anywhere in it, did you?"
LONG PAUSE.
"No," I started, almost lying to save myself for the humiliation that comes with admitting you've spent an entire day in something terrible. "I just went to work and Wawa. And I went shopping for a few hours." I work with preschoolers. They (most of them, anyway) don't care what you look like as long as you're fun. I crawl on the ground. I paint. Today we made green eggs + ham. I also made "oobleck." I was covered in powder and pigments for the majority of day.
I had no idea this dress was so bad.
My family used to joke about submitting a video for "What Not to Wear." Fortunately that stopped about six months ago. Now that I think about it, they stopped talking about it shortly after I bought this.
OH NO. Now it's occurred to me...I think I was wearing this maybe three months ago. My friend made a comment about how I looked ready to teach kindergarten. At the time I figured it had to do with the fact that I was going to or coming from work. Second guessing that assumption. I thought it was a cute thing to hear. I thought he meant it as a compliment.
This is so stupid. It's black, simple, I bought it last year at the gap. It's cotton, a racer-back. The dress has pockets. I wear a shirt under it with leggings and boots.
The dress that's earned so much attention?
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