OH. MY. GOD.

You need twenty quarters to park for two hours. I keep feeling like my math can't be right because that's far too many quarters for a person to have on them at once. But fortunately, a block and a half later you can park for zero quarters.

Two and I met at the entrance of the Franklin Institute. They have a Night Skies program with stargazing on the observation deck, a talk in the planetarium, and also a whole lot of space-related thing you can look at and pick up (like an astronaut's lunch box, of course).

We found our way to the ticket line- this event was way more popular than either of us had anticipated-- and were talking comfortably from the get-go. One of the first things he did was give me a cool set of coasters. He's a craft-fella, and he makes them. They've got misheard lyrics and are pretty awesome. We laughed at the things people hear by mistake, and it was actually a great get-past-the-initial-awkward! He asked a lot of questions, which was nice too.

The F.I. was pretty crowded, and it seemed like no one really knew where they were going, so we sort of wandered until we ended up at the most elaborate elevator doors. We took them to the observation deck where several telescopes stood with their "owners." The evening was a little cloudy which was kind of a bummer, but what was really a bummer is these massive machines were set up and everyone was ooh-ing and ahh-ing, but we quietly determined that this was some sort of Emperor's New Clothes business. You could see one of the stars better without the telescope.

The next telescope was aimed at the Comcast building.
There weren't even any people inside to spy on.
It was just a building.

The third telescope was a real monster. It was about four times the size of you, and all you cold see in it was your fluttering eyelashes. The women working at it was telling people all about something, but I don't know if anyone was following it.

This was all great! So many people, and none of them knew what was going on exactly, but the weather was mild and everyone seemed happy.

We ended up on the second floor at a corporate holiday party but decided against joining them because even though sometimes you can, it doesn't mean you should.

Following that, we found a computer that made you guess the time using a parking-meter-on-the-moon as sun dial. Things were of course getting pretty competitive, and conveniently this game was placed right beneath a constellation wall. People were waiting their turns to pick up a piece of plastic and hold it up toward the wall to see stars and patterns appear before their very eyes. I don't know why, but suddenly the power went out along that wall, while we were sitting with all these people looking in our direction through Plexiglas. It was one of those "and then a kid gasped loudly" situations that was kind of embarrassing.

We made our way to the planetarium for a very interesting (and sort of sad) talk about Dark Matter. The stranger to might right had one of those loud/whistling boogers in his nose and it kind of took away from the talk, but it was still interesting. Afterwards we decided we'd either take the elevator to the fifth floor, or go find dinner. Luckily (or so I thought...) the line for the 'vator was long, so we decided we'd had enough of this sky business, and we left for dinner.

Pizzeria Vetri is a couple blocks away and also awesome. We decided to go there and I was glad. The conversation was still going great, he's a nice guy- had some funny stories and laughed at things I said.

We sat at the long counter that runs the length of the front window and talked. We ordered pizza and it was out in barely any minutes. It was completely delicious. Everything was going really well. But then I started to feel a little not great. But then, then, I started to feel even more not great.

I knew I had to be sweating and maybe even gray or green. "Listen...." I interrupted him. "This has nothing to do with you, but I think I have to go." He looked at me, kind of surprised. "I have no idea what's happening..." I felt even more gray or green.

"Do you need to..." but I just walked away. He was sitting along the counter, looking out at the street, and I just walked straight toward the bathroom.

And I threw up.
All over Pizzeria Vetri.
Like...I projectile vomited. Maybe it was like that scene in The Exorcist?
Maybe it was like any scene where someone just completely loses it all over a crowded restaurant.

I walked, hands up like a surgeon, toward the bathroom. The kitchen staff (oh hey! They have an open kitchen!) was kind but also, I'm sure, completely horrified. Someone was in the bathroom. I had to just stand there, covered from the neck down in my own puke.

The poor girl opened the door and made eye contact with the worst-monster version of myself. I went in the bathroom, completely sick again and again. I rinsed my dress in the sink, but it was still an all over nightmare. I finally buttoned up my cardigan, pulled myself as together as I possibly could, and walked out to my waiter and the rest of his gang. He said he didn't think anyone saw. It was very kind of him. But you KNOW that's not the case. I don't want to be completely disgusting, so instead: just don't imagine the most horrible thing ever. But know that I caused it.

Two was still sitting along the counter with all my belongings and I headed toward the door. He turned his head and we made quick eye contact. I ran away.

After a few minutes of deep, deep breathing on the corner of 20th and Callowhill, I looked in the window and gestured to Two. He came out with all my stuff and I apologized. This could certainly appear to be the most elaborate plan to ditch a check.

He handed me my things and I tried to give him money. "What are you talking about?" he asked, and it sounded so sincere.

"I owe you money for the bill and I'm SO sorry." He looked at me. He said he got it and not to worry. "Wait------do you know what just happened?" I asked him. He shook his head no, he thought I'd just gone outside for air.

Instead of just being privately disgusting, I said, "Wait...so you didn't see me just throw up all over that place?"

This guy was an absolute gentleman. He was either being as polite as can possibly be, or I really lucked out when I picked the counter facing along the front of the place, instead of a table where he would have definitely seen. "Let's get you to your car," he said. I didn't want to get into his car because I HAD JUST THROWN UP ALL OVER MYSELF AND SMELLED HORRIBLE.

He insisted. He said there was no way I should be walking down the street like that, and feeling sick. And it's not a big deal, it happens. And I am so so so grateful for his kindness, and for his ability to not be like WHAT THE HELL JUST HAPPENED when I ruined Pizzeria Vetri.

So he took me back to my car and was so sweet about the whole nightmare, and even though I wasted a perfectly good, perfectly delicious pizza and also made a huge scene and everything, we'll be doing this again. But without the gross parts next time, if I can help it.