i hadn't considered that someone might think otherwise. i'm one of the most optimistic/in-love-with-life-and-all-the-people-on-earth-forever/you-guys-are-amazing people you could ever meet. because of that i took for granted that everyone would see this project from my perspective: this is a great way to meet a bunch of interesting guys with their own lives and stories to tell. maybe i'd hit it off with the kind of guy i'd predict. maybe i'd fall for someone totally out of the ordinary. maybe i'd just spend about 36 hours with strangers and a better person as a result.
for some reason, despite how empathetic i thought i was, it hadn't occurred to me that there was much potential for my dates to feel used or exploited. maybe it's because i know me. i know i wouldn't do that to a person. it's so far from my intention. so tonight when i thought the second guy seemed interested in cutting our evening short i was taken by surprise.
the better part of my day was spent worrying about meeting my horrible quota. i couldn't get past the idea that i was setting myself up for failure. though there are all sorts of potentials in the works (i'm looking at you, all-night-roller-skate-dreamer,) i was simultaneously berating and laughing at the situation. for a girl with 250+ email requests asking her out, a list of seemingly decent guys in her near future and already a great first experience, i was so mad at myself for having "the night off."
i had plans for tonight. i knew what i wanted to do, where i wanted to go, the whole thing. somehow i lacked a partner though while all of my friends seemed to secure a nice thursday night with their person of choice. going totally nuts. absolutely. i called a bunch of people and sent messages all over theworldwidewebbernet in hopes of landing some awesome guy. as it got later and later i was ready to concede and go home to do some laundry.
i was sulking in the greeting card isle of walgreen's noticing that they don't seem to make ziggy cards anymore. i'm not spending $7 on a piece of cardboard that plays "Born to be Wild" with a picture of a pig on a tricycle. that's when my phone gave me a super-high-five.
almost a month ago i had a brief correspondence-thing with an interesting and adorable guy from some website. it was short lived though. not hearing from him though, i'd moved on. i couldn't shake the idea of him though. he presented himself in a way that was cool without necessarily being intimidating and i generally liked his approach. (though that this point there wasn't much approaching. *SOUND THE FOGHORN FOR MY DUMB JOKE PLEASE.*) earlier today in my brazen state i sent him what i imagine to be on a post-it note.
here goes nothing:
i am doing a ridiculous project. i have
to go one 12 dates this month.
seeing as i knew you existed before i
addition to the lineup...if i can
convince you. and the pressure is off
for idea planning if you're free tonight
as i have stuff in mind.
is this the worst date proposition of
apparently it wasn't.